Merry Christmas Everyone!

As we all know today is Christmas, the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus, the day we celebrate family, health, and happiness, and the day we celebrate the joy of giving. But what does it mean to me this year and at this time in my life?

Last night I was lying in bed thinking about my life and where I was going. Many things have changed causing, well to be frank, confusion. I would explain, but I will spare you the details. It would only be, well, confusing. Coming here has made me rethink my life, and the things I once called important. So here is a Christmas Revelation and my gift to all.

Why did God create man? Why did He send his own son to die for us? Being alone for the most part has given me time to really ponder these questions in relation to my own life. My whole life I have been surrounded by people. These people have been my family, relatives, friends, co-workers, classmates, and leaders. I have never felt alone. James Wilder once talked to a group of college age young people about loneliness. He explained that there is a difference between loneliness and aloneness. To be honest, I had never felt either, until now. The devil preys on us in these times. On more than one occasion, I have cried myself to sleep feeling bad for myself. I know it sounds pathetic, but unless you have been there it is hard to understand. I would get mad for being so selfish and ungrateful. I have so much, so why was I so empty inside? Then the answer struck me! Now, this is going to sound so simple but just bare with me.

Jesus was my answer! Duh! right? of course He is your answer, Rachel. But just wait a second before you point the finger. My whole life I have called Jesus my best friend, the only one I needed, my strength, and my first love. Words are empty until they are truly tested. Oh yes, I meant them with all my heart, but it has been in the last two months that they have been tested. If Jesus was my everything why the emptiness? Then I realized why I am here in Missoula. Jesus wants me, Rachel to truly allow him to be my everything. The difference between loneliness and aloneness is what you do during that season. Loneliness is feeling bad for yourself and allowing the devil to steal your victory. Aloneness is using the time to be intimate with God. He created us just for that reason. He wanted a friend, someone whom needed him, someone whom he could converse with and share his love with. Imagine a God who's love is perfect and him not being able to share it. Thus, the reason he created man and the reason he sent his son..."For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotton son..." John 3:16.

So on this Christmas day ask yourself this question is Jesus really my everything? Would I be happy if it was just me and him for the rest of my life? If he is not your everything, like me, let him into your life. Don't worry Jesus is a gentleman, he nevers forces anything on us. However, he will never stop pursuing us, his creation. OH how I love Jesus! Thank you for my Revelation and gift. I finally feel free!